WHAT DOES TRUMP DO UNTIL HIS THIRD LANDSLIDE VICTORY IN 2024?

Yes, we’d all prefer it if the greatest president in our country’s history assumed the title of ‘President Emeritus’ and continued his purge of the deep state as the leader of a shadow cabinet. But that’s not looking possible… thanks Obama.

So, how does Trump keep the light on for we lost souls until he’s back where he belongs on January 20, 2025?

BECOMES THE NEW ‘MY PILLOW’ GUY – Go on, admit it. It irritated you when Mike Lindell grabbed hold of the presidential podium and told us all we’re going to Hell. Time for a new pillow, and who better to lecture us all about a good night’s sleep: a man who stuffs feathers into sacks or The Chosen One?

I’m sleeping better already.

SITCOM STAR – Wasn’t Neil Simon great? Complex relationships within simple concepts. It’s time for a reboot of THE ODD COUPLE, don’t you think? Who better to play ‘Oscar’ in the post-truth era than Trump? And ‘Felix’… well, turn it around and cast Nancy Pelosi as ‘Felicia’. Yes, she still has a job. But for how long? Americans don’t tolerate powerful women once a male alternative who doesn’t cry presents himself… unless, of course, we’re talking about Margaret Thatcher. Nancy’s days are numbered. Give her a new job in which she lectures Donald every minute of every day? How could she say ‘no’?

Put it on a network without any taste… Fox? NBC?

DOG WALKER – Thousands of politicians (and counting!) across our great land were brought to heel by The Donald. Yes, they want to take a stroll down alleyways that lead to fiscal conservatism, free trade, and a multilateralist foreign policy… but the president simply gives a little tug on the leash with his pinky, and dobermans become chihuahuas.

Watch out Blue Buffalo… ‘Trump Kibble’ is a quarter of the cost and made with fresh North Korean ‘beef-like’ product.

BOGEYMAN – If one’s children have become sociopathic little narcissists during the pandemic, is it alright to say if they don’t behave, ‘Trumpy Wumpy’ will come get them and put them in a cage?

I’m asking for a friend.

(As imagined by DadHollywood.)