THE MAGA GRAMMYS 2026

[Grammys 2026 host Tony Hinchcliffe welcomes Trump to the stage. Kid Rock plays Hail to the Chief on the guitar.]

HINCHCLIFFE: Ladies and Gentlemen, to present the Country Music Album of the Year Award, the President of these United States. Donald Trump.

[Trump approaches the podium doing his signature old man dance. Muted, polite applause.]

TRUMP: Thank you, Tony. Funny guy. The funniest.

[Pause. Looks for teleprompter.]

TRUMP: I am so pleased to be here with you today. I’ve seen the winner already. I know everything. I have the security clearance. I’m happy to say another brown person has won Best Country Music Album of the Year Award. Whites won’t win it anymore. I can promise you that. Thanks to me. I alone solved the race crisis in America. There is no issue now. No longer a crisis. Everybody’s happy. You know, we have the greatest music in the world. The greatest. Everyone is saying it. It’s true, so true. Not like those Brit Awards and their Beatles. Insects… filthy creatures… unhygienic, in fact. I much prefer mammals, if I’m being honest. Like The Monkees. Yes, the lead singer was from England, but the rest were American, I think.

[Small hands fumble with an envelope.]

TRUMP: And the winner is… I can’t pronounce this. Tony, they love you in Puerto Rico. What does this say?