PRAY FOR ALABAMA

Remarkably, just before slamming into Nova Scotia, Hurricane Dorian reformed its eye, turned around and made a beeline for the state of Alabama…actually gaining speed and strength over land.

President Trump tweeted this morning, “I’ve been vindicated. Everyone at NOAA should loose [sic] their heads. At least their jobs. Bear [sic] minimum.”

However, the New York Times has revealed that when questioned about Dorian’s sudden about-face, colleague Tropical Storm Isolde was quoted as saying, “The president threatened to nuke her if she did not tow the line on Alabama.”

Isolde was not available for further comment, as she is on holiday off the western coast of Africa.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo responded to the brouhaha. “The president is entitled to deploy nuclear weapons wherever and whenever he pleases.” Former national security advisors have questioned the legality of such a statement.

(As imagined by DadHollywood.)